Monday, September 5, 2011

Big Brother Thoughts - Rachel and Jordan, Quitters Shouldn't Win

With the season of Big Brother almost ending it looks like one of the two remaining vets is poised to win Big Brother 13. Which I am subtitling "Bad Playing and Shameless Production". I am titling it that because I have a lousy sense of humor.

All that aside, Jordan and Rachel are in a great spot this season, with at least one of them guaranteed a spot in the final 3 and a Jordan/Rachel final two a very likely possibility. It is ironic because the two seem as different as night and day.

Rachel is a strong competitor in challenges, at least when she can control the crazy. With a love for the game of Big Brother, even though I sometimes wonder if she truly understands it.

Jordan is a sweet, naive girl who survives through other people playing hard and a genuinely likable personality making others not want to target her.

But the truth is that while I don't dislike Jordan (I do dislike Rachel) I don't think either of them deserve to win this season for one simple reason. At the end of the day, they have been nothing but a couple of whiny quitters.

It started at the beginning of this season, shortly after that lovable rascal Evil Dick vacated the Big Brother house. And by lovable I mean if you love hacking loogies on fake grass and insulting women about things coming out of their vagina's, Dick is your kind of teddy bear.

Anyway, after Evil Dick vacated the show for a personal emergency, Jordan and Rachel's pattern of a whiny defeatist attitude came to tuition.

After Evil Dick left the veterans, they decided things were going horribly for them. Never mind that they were HOH, never mind that one of the newbies was going home and another one was about to be rendered unable to compete against them. Never mind that the one that looked poised to stay, Porsche, was on their side. Never mind that Rachel and Brandon thought they were competition monsters. Stick a fork in them, they were done.

Yes, Evil Dick going was a bad blow for them as they were now down a two competitors for HOH and Veto's, as Dani was given the Golden Key. But for some reason this setback meant it was now simply hopeless. Dick wasn't there so even though they were in power they had allready lost.

Jordan and Rachel, along with their fellow whiner Brendon, were good as gone. It was over and there was nothing that could ever, ever, ever happen to turn the tide. If you get dealt a bad break in Big Brother you have no chance of turning it around. You lose an alliance member early, you will never ever recover. Just ask Dr. Will, Dan and Lisa... oh wait.

So what did they do at this, the first sign of adversity for them and their side? They gave up. They cried, they whined, and they decided it was over.

They had no chance at this, the insurmountable odds of things not going 100% their way. Might as well give up now, how can you possibly win if you will ever have to overcome adversity to do it? Brendon and Rahcel wanted to go home, it wasn't fair that Dick had an emergency now they couldn't possibly win!

Thankfully for them, Jeff actually realized that one bad turn did not equal giving up. After trying to explain to them that the situation was far from hopeless. Then arguing with their intial refusal to believe that things were beyond able to overcome, they FINALLY decided, "Hey. Maybe we can win even if we don't get our way 100% of the time."

It proved to be true and the vets managed to win the next two competitions and made allies in Shelly, Adam, and initially Porsche and Kalia... the newbies who supposedly would never, ever, ever work with them... ever.

Then "disaster" struck once again. Dani jumped ship and took Kalia and Porsche with her. Well sort of took them with her, the three bonded over the fact the vets decided they were expendable so might as well treat them like crap. But that is another issue.

Dani then turned around and won HOH.

Time for the givng up portion of the veteran alliance to have another pity party. Jordan was less involved in this one, but Rachel and Brendon were suddently on thin ice... time to cry and give up. AGAIN. They want to go home, this isn't fair, then the two cry babies began talking of quitting. AGAIN.

They eventually got over the crying, for the moment. And tried to make a deal, but it didn't work and Brendon went home. Cue the water works once more. Rachel dived into a cry baby depression that rivaled any on Big Brother to the point. You would think Brendon got executed instead of just sent home.

Rachel wanted to quit, like a child always does when things don't go their way. She spent all week wanting to quit and give up. She would not stop.

The ONLY reason it didn't do her in was because of Shelly putting her Jedi mind games on Kalia, and somehow convincing her that getting rid of Rachel was a bad idea and only sacrificing her own alliance member would fix it.

It worked, Rachel survived through no doing of her own,  and due to a surprise twist Brendon came back in to boot. It didn't help, and he went home the next week as Dani once more put him up and this time got rid of him. Rachel handled it a bit better to her credit. I guess being in the jury calls off the execution.

Things finally turned for Rachel and Jordan when Jeff won HOH. Dani was targeted and finally couldn't save herself. Thus, their arch enemy went home. This was perfect, the veterans though, as by their assessment without Dani, Kalia and Porsche wouldn't be able to do anything but "go into a corner and cry."

But things didn't work out like they thought. Dani went home, but immediately after a double eviction was played. Kallia won the HOH, and this time Shelly had flipped and there was no time to pull a rabbit out of their hat.

Kalia targeted Jeff and Porsche won HOH keeping the votes the same. Weren't those the two people who were supposed to crawl into the corner and cry? I guess by "crawl into the corner and cry" they meant "step it up and get rid of Jeff".

There was nothing the vets could do to stop it, as Shelly had flipped and they handled it in a way that alienated her completely, if she wasn't already out of their alliance. So before the three vets even had time to pat themselves on the back for their brilliant play of getting rid of Dani, Jeff was out the door.

Jordan, who had criticized how badly Rachel had handled the loss of her love, immediately began the waterworks. They had no one, they were doomed, things weren't going their way anymore, it wasn't fair, she didn't want to play anymore!

Rachel briefly held out hope they could win the HOH, but it didn't happen.

Porsche continued to cry, if by cry you mean, "continued to prove the people who said she couldn't compete wrong, by winning a second challenge in row and becoming HOH."

OK. Things didn't turn around in 5 minutes like Rachel had hoped. NOW it was time to give up.

Jordan and Rachel proceeded to do what they did best. Crawl into a corner and cry. They had no allies because they alienated them all, they weren't in power, they didn't get to win every competition, it wasn't fair, they wanted to go home. Whaaa!

Unfortunately for them, this time Jeff wasn't there to perk them up. And boy did they surrender like the true quitters they were. They did nothing for almost a whole day but retreat to a corner and cry. Occasionally Jordan stopped to scream at others for not letting them win, before crying once more.

Finally the two cry babies came to a decision, they were done. No more trying, things weren't going there way and there was no possible way to ever, ever, ever turn it around. They should just walk out right now. If  a win won't be handed to them why even play?

So it was decided, they weren't even going to try. Hell, if they tried it might work, who would want that? If a Veto offering rewards happened (which has almost guaranteed someone on the block wins it) they would take the prizes and loose. In the mean time they would just crawl into a corner and cry for two weeks until Porsche and Kalia were done picking them off.

A "strategy" they tripped over themselves agreeing was the best, no... the only option.

So what finally changed their mind? A "miracle" happened, and by "miracle" I mean "the producers didn't want to lose them so they pulled a twist out of their ass".

Porsche opened Pandora's Box. A bad game move for her no doubt, but when has anyone NOT opened Pandora's Box? I have a feeling the producers won't ever let that be an option, and it will take one hell of an iron willed player to ever walk away never opening it.

Pandora's Box put the "Duel Twist" back in the house. Which meant if either Rachel or Jordan won veto they were both safe. Now they had a chance, as without it one of them was going no matter what.

They were elated, this was perfect for them. I mean, before they had to make some kind of game move to actually get Porsche, Kalia or Adam to switch sides and save them. No doubt using some kind of social game move, deal making or deception. Who in BB can take the time to do THAT?

But they didn't have to, BB walked down and handed them a lifeline and since something was going their way, through no doing of their own, they were willing to play again.

A Veto competition that seemed awfully quickly put together and was EXACTLY the same type of contest that Rachel had won at the beginning followed, almost guaranteeing things would go their way with minimal work.

They were saved! Suddenly the two people who wanted to quit for the millionth time24 hours ago had a bunch of twist and contest designed to benefit them magically showed up.

Shelly went home due to the twist backfiring on the newbies, and Rachel turned around and won HOH a week after she would have given up had BB not thrown her a huge bone.

Now that things were 100% working for Rachel and Jordan and suddenly they were chipper again.

But make no mistake, if Porsche or Kalia, whoever survives this next eviction, wins the next HOH I have little doubt they will both be crawling in a corner once more. Again crying about how they have no one, this isn't fair, they will never, ever, ever find a way to overcome this. Time to give up, "We'll be in this corner crying when you decide who to evict us guys."

They have so far been nothing if not consistent.

Some will say I am too hard on them, especially Rachel who has been "playing the game". I say bull. Rachel has won two HOH's, one of which was handed to her by the Donatos. She then spent most of the time, until a week ago, crying how nothing was fair and she never got to win anything.

She has been on a roll now, but I would argue that if productions sets you up with twist that only benefit you and competitions you are clearly going to excel at anyone could win. Rachel has not survived because of her great game play. She has survived because when she was as good as gone BB stepped in and set things to work in her favor.

These two have spent all season whining the second things don't work out with them, and crying about wanting to go home like spoiled children when it happens. I just really don't think that behavior should be rewarded. Especially when twist that scream "the fix is in" are the only things that have kept them both still around.

If their attitude had been better it would have bothered me less. But in a game where a half million dollars is the prize, I think people who have proven that they only want to win if it will be stress free, and handed to them with minimal work, have not proven they deserve it.

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